Clean it up.
One of the common themes taught to young mothers is to not worry about the mess. I read and heard advice given over and over that the children are only small for such a short time. Don't worry about the mess. A messy house is a lived-in house. Enjoy your children, don't worry about cleaning.
I tried that for a while. And then one day I thought, "I am leaving my children a legacy of sloppiness. This is not me. This is not the legacy I want to leave." So I started cleaning. I am not a paranoid cleaner. I allow the kids to create and explore, but we always clean up afterward. When the house is clean, the children are happier. There is less fighting. There is more creativity and play. They are more attentive in school. I am happier and more energized. I find I have time for so much more if my house is clean.
We are far from perfect on this one. But it is something that matters to me. I want to leave my children a legacy of cleanliness. I want them to understand how to balance work and play and to be responsible for their behaviors--that includes being responsible for the messes they make. When my husband comes home to a clean house, he is better able to relax. When I'm out for the evening and I come home to a clean house, I am very, very happy. It's a simple way to welcome people, including our own family members, into our home. I am talking about basic tidying up, organizing, and day-to-day cleaning; I am not talking about living in a sterile environment.
Cleanliness is a legacy worth leaving.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Mid-Life Philosophy--36
Look for solutions, not problems.
When I was a junior in high school, my history teacher had us interview people who had been alive in different decades. For example, I interviewed my Grandma Rawlins about the 30s and the Great Depression. My history class was 3rd period (I remember weird things) and I had drama 2nd period. Apparently, I hadn't done my homework. (Big surprise.) So, I took a few minutes during drama to interview my teacher about the 60s. I remember this conversation with Mrs. Adams as she reminisced about the hippie movement. I think she could see by my personal style and the friends I had that it was a movement that interested me (at least for the fashion and music). It was like she wanted to warn me about it. She used my name. (People rarely use names during a conversation. It stands out.) She said, "Megan, the thing you have to understand about these people is that they knew all the problems, but they offered no solutions."
How intriguing that is to me. I've thought about that often. I love to study social issues and politics. I try to separate the things I am reading to identify who is listing problems (i.e. complaining) and who is offering solutions. It's an interesting exercise.
It is easy to identify what is wrong in our families, communities, schools, and country. It is more difficult to offer real, plausible solutions. Those among us who are offering solutions are the ones that deserve my attention and, where applicable, my vote.
Looking for a solution is a productive use of my energy.
When I was a junior in high school, my history teacher had us interview people who had been alive in different decades. For example, I interviewed my Grandma Rawlins about the 30s and the Great Depression. My history class was 3rd period (I remember weird things) and I had drama 2nd period. Apparently, I hadn't done my homework. (Big surprise.) So, I took a few minutes during drama to interview my teacher about the 60s. I remember this conversation with Mrs. Adams as she reminisced about the hippie movement. I think she could see by my personal style and the friends I had that it was a movement that interested me (at least for the fashion and music). It was like she wanted to warn me about it. She used my name. (People rarely use names during a conversation. It stands out.) She said, "Megan, the thing you have to understand about these people is that they knew all the problems, but they offered no solutions."
How intriguing that is to me. I've thought about that often. I love to study social issues and politics. I try to separate the things I am reading to identify who is listing problems (i.e. complaining) and who is offering solutions. It's an interesting exercise.
It is easy to identify what is wrong in our families, communities, schools, and country. It is more difficult to offer real, plausible solutions. Those among us who are offering solutions are the ones that deserve my attention and, where applicable, my vote.
Looking for a solution is a productive use of my energy.
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Mid-Life Philosophy--37
Brett Prays
Yep, that is my philosophy. Brett prays.
I have a brother-in-law named Brett. I think it's fair to say he is a pretty good man, father, husband, and brother-in-law. Truthfully, he's an all around great guy. He is also fairly religious. I have heard him speak and testify of Jesus Christ at various occasions and he is sincere and his testimony is moving. He has served as a bishop in my church.
That's the background. Several years ago, Brett had a job he didn't like. At the time, the economy was such that Brett had options. He could have left his job and easily found another. The job he had required so much of him, that it was affecting his wife and family. And not in a good way. I wondered why he didn't just quit and move on. His way seemed so clear to me.
Then one day, Brett told me he and my sister had been at the temple praying about his job situation. They got a clear answer that he should stay with this particular company a little while longer. A realization hit me: Brett prays. This is something I had never considered before. Brett prays and God answers Brett's prayers to Brett, not to me.
You are probably thinking that this is obvious. I'm glad it's obvious to you. It really opened my mind up. I didn't realizing I was judging Brett, you see, but I was. I thought I could plainly see what was right for his family. I didn't know God's will for them because it's none of my business. I have used this phrase "Brett prays" over and over when people make choices that seem questionable to me. (This has nothing to do with making choices about whether or not to obey the commandments. This is about making those choices about education, career, living situations, etc., that are personal and really none of my business at all.)
I can trust God enough to answer someone else's prayers. This freedom from judging other people's decisions is a huge burden off my shoulders. And it has become one of my philosophies. Thanks to Brett for teaching it to me. (I don't think he knows he did.)
Yep, that is my philosophy. Brett prays.
I have a brother-in-law named Brett. I think it's fair to say he is a pretty good man, father, husband, and brother-in-law. Truthfully, he's an all around great guy. He is also fairly religious. I have heard him speak and testify of Jesus Christ at various occasions and he is sincere and his testimony is moving. He has served as a bishop in my church.
That's the background. Several years ago, Brett had a job he didn't like. At the time, the economy was such that Brett had options. He could have left his job and easily found another. The job he had required so much of him, that it was affecting his wife and family. And not in a good way. I wondered why he didn't just quit and move on. His way seemed so clear to me.
Then one day, Brett told me he and my sister had been at the temple praying about his job situation. They got a clear answer that he should stay with this particular company a little while longer. A realization hit me: Brett prays. This is something I had never considered before. Brett prays and God answers Brett's prayers to Brett, not to me.
You are probably thinking that this is obvious. I'm glad it's obvious to you. It really opened my mind up. I didn't realizing I was judging Brett, you see, but I was. I thought I could plainly see what was right for his family. I didn't know God's will for them because it's none of my business. I have used this phrase "Brett prays" over and over when people make choices that seem questionable to me. (This has nothing to do with making choices about whether or not to obey the commandments. This is about making those choices about education, career, living situations, etc., that are personal and really none of my business at all.)
I can trust God enough to answer someone else's prayers. This freedom from judging other people's decisions is a huge burden off my shoulders. And it has become one of my philosophies. Thanks to Brett for teaching it to me. (I don't think he knows he did.)
Friday, March 28, 2014
Mid-Life Philosophy--38
Enjoy the Weather
I was better at this when I was younger. I am just so cold now that I am in the middle. But I work on it, because it is one of the philosophies of my life that makes me the happiest.
It all started during my freshman year of college. I'm not sure I paid much attention to the weather before that. At least, I didn't pay much emotional attention. When the snow started falling that freshman year, I thought, Ugh. Here we go. Another winter. I had to walk to class. As I walked along, I passed a stranger. We greeted each other and I said something about Ugh, snow. She responded, "I love it! The air is so crisp and invigorating! I'm from the south." Hmm. That was something new for me. She made me think.
As the winter continued, something happened. This was the first winter I had spent considerable time outdoors every single day. (The joys of not owning a car!) And I loved it. If I'm dressed for the weather, I'm happy in the winter. I'm also happy in the spring and I love the summer! I love sunshine! And autumn is so beautiful and the air is so refreshing.
I have learned to love and enjoy all sorts of different weather. I really love unseasonable weather. For example, spring snow or autumn heat. I love extremes--when there is record rainfall or snowfall or record warm temperatures (as long as we get enough water for drinking). I love the sunshine. And the wind. Wind is so much fun.
As I mentioned, as I get older, I have trouble remembering to enjoy certain types of winter. We have had a painfully cold, wet winter this year. Sometimes I got discouraged. But every single time I went outside to shovel snow, it was like I was a freshman all over again. The air was crisp and invigorating! The snow is so pretty. It's almost April and I am excited for the spring! I really love it all.
My youngest daughter didn't have to learn to love all types of weather. She does it naturally. She made up a song when she was about four-years-old. It has several versions: "Snow, snow. I love snow. Snow is the best thing I've ever seen." And "Rain, rain. I love rain. Rain is the best thing I've ever seen." And "Sun, sun. I love sun. Sun is the best thing I've ever seen." And "Wind, wind. I love wind. Wind is the best thing I've ever seen." I think you get the idea. She is a very happy child and I think it's because she already knows how to enjoy whatever comes her way.
It makes everything about life happier and more pleasant when I enjoy the weather that I have.
I was better at this when I was younger. I am just so cold now that I am in the middle. But I work on it, because it is one of the philosophies of my life that makes me the happiest.
It all started during my freshman year of college. I'm not sure I paid much attention to the weather before that. At least, I didn't pay much emotional attention. When the snow started falling that freshman year, I thought, Ugh. Here we go. Another winter. I had to walk to class. As I walked along, I passed a stranger. We greeted each other and I said something about Ugh, snow. She responded, "I love it! The air is so crisp and invigorating! I'm from the south." Hmm. That was something new for me. She made me think.
As the winter continued, something happened. This was the first winter I had spent considerable time outdoors every single day. (The joys of not owning a car!) And I loved it. If I'm dressed for the weather, I'm happy in the winter. I'm also happy in the spring and I love the summer! I love sunshine! And autumn is so beautiful and the air is so refreshing.
I have learned to love and enjoy all sorts of different weather. I really love unseasonable weather. For example, spring snow or autumn heat. I love extremes--when there is record rainfall or snowfall or record warm temperatures (as long as we get enough water for drinking). I love the sunshine. And the wind. Wind is so much fun.
As I mentioned, as I get older, I have trouble remembering to enjoy certain types of winter. We have had a painfully cold, wet winter this year. Sometimes I got discouraged. But every single time I went outside to shovel snow, it was like I was a freshman all over again. The air was crisp and invigorating! The snow is so pretty. It's almost April and I am excited for the spring! I really love it all.
My youngest daughter didn't have to learn to love all types of weather. She does it naturally. She made up a song when she was about four-years-old. It has several versions: "Snow, snow. I love snow. Snow is the best thing I've ever seen." And "Rain, rain. I love rain. Rain is the best thing I've ever seen." And "Sun, sun. I love sun. Sun is the best thing I've ever seen." And "Wind, wind. I love wind. Wind is the best thing I've ever seen." I think you get the idea. She is a very happy child and I think it's because she already knows how to enjoy whatever comes her way.
It makes everything about life happier and more pleasant when I enjoy the weather that I have.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Mid-Life Philosophy--39
Naming My Source
If I'm going to quote someone (even on social media), I say who it is I'm quoting! This is a big deal to me. That's why I used an exclamation point in that first sentence. Maybe it's a combination of being raised by a writer/editor and married to a songwriter. I try to pay attention to copyrights, sources, and accuracy. I think it's important. I'm not perfect at it, but I know that it matters. Speaking of sources, I also like to understand some facts before forming an opinion. My views and opinions are strengthened when I can name the source of the facts I used to form my opinion. When I was thinking about the many things floating around in my head that I could write about as my mid-life philosophies, I immediately started collecting my favorite quotes--the ones that have shaped my thinking. But I deliberately chose not to use quotes, poems, passages of scripture, or songs. I am attempting to write my opinions in my own words. I don't like it. I think it's more powerful to use someone else's statements as a foundation for my own thoughts. However, I mean for this to be some sort of recorded personal history, so I may as well make it personal. While I may not use quotes on the blog during the next few weeks, if I did, I would name my source!
If I'm going to quote someone (even on social media), I say who it is I'm quoting! This is a big deal to me. That's why I used an exclamation point in that first sentence. Maybe it's a combination of being raised by a writer/editor and married to a songwriter. I try to pay attention to copyrights, sources, and accuracy. I think it's important. I'm not perfect at it, but I know that it matters. Speaking of sources, I also like to understand some facts before forming an opinion. My views and opinions are strengthened when I can name the source of the facts I used to form my opinion. When I was thinking about the many things floating around in my head that I could write about as my mid-life philosophies, I immediately started collecting my favorite quotes--the ones that have shaped my thinking. But I deliberately chose not to use quotes, poems, passages of scripture, or songs. I am attempting to write my opinions in my own words. I don't like it. I think it's more powerful to use someone else's statements as a foundation for my own thoughts. However, I mean for this to be some sort of recorded personal history, so I may as well make it personal. While I may not use quotes on the blog during the next few weeks, if I did, I would name my source!
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Mid-Life Philosophy--40
Being a Reader
I just got home from my book club, so it seems like a good idea to write about books. I read a lot of novels. I'm not as well-read as I'd like to be, but I like a good book. I spend a lot of time reading novels with my children. I especially enjoy having people around who want to discuss the book with me. As I read, I think I learn so much. I learn about other cultures, other life views and ways of looking at the world. I learn about family structure and how people interact with each other. I learn about values and consequences. I learn a great deal of empathy for other people. I get to get inside someone else's head for a little while and experience life with them. Life is short and I will meet relatively few people and have relatively few life experiences. But reading expands my understanding of what other people experience. By building my empathy for others (even if they're fictional), I expand my own life experience. Even if I can't travel much, I can immerse myself in foreign cultures and ideas when I'm in a novel. I freely admit having made some great friends with fictional characters--and when I finish the book, I feel lonely for my friends.
Reading is fun and relaxing. It is educational. And it brings an added layer of meaning to my life.
I just got home from my book club, so it seems like a good idea to write about books. I read a lot of novels. I'm not as well-read as I'd like to be, but I like a good book. I spend a lot of time reading novels with my children. I especially enjoy having people around who want to discuss the book with me. As I read, I think I learn so much. I learn about other cultures, other life views and ways of looking at the world. I learn about family structure and how people interact with each other. I learn about values and consequences. I learn a great deal of empathy for other people. I get to get inside someone else's head for a little while and experience life with them. Life is short and I will meet relatively few people and have relatively few life experiences. But reading expands my understanding of what other people experience. By building my empathy for others (even if they're fictional), I expand my own life experience. Even if I can't travel much, I can immerse myself in foreign cultures and ideas when I'm in a novel. I freely admit having made some great friends with fictional characters--and when I finish the book, I feel lonely for my friends.
Reading is fun and relaxing. It is educational. And it brings an added layer of meaning to my life.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Prepare yourselves...
Remember when I turned thirty? I do. I thought it was no big deal. It didn't feel like a big deal. I loved my life at the time and everything was going swimmingly. And then I actually had my birthday. It was a little lackluster. Maybe that's the right word to use. I had just had my hair cut to a "cute" little bob that I hated. I got my first minivan that weekend. And I was about eight and a half months pregnant. Thirty didn't feel so awesome. In retrospect, if I had recognized that it was a milestone, maybe I would have made it meaningful and enjoyed it a little more.
I have a milestone birthday coming up. Is that the right word? I think I should open up a thesaurus or something. I'm having trouble thinking of words tonight. My point here is this, I have a birthday coming. On the one hand, it's just another day. Just another birthday. On the other hand, I'm going to be forty! That's a number! A number to celebrate!
During the past few months, I have watched (on Facebook) as several of my friends have hit the big 4-0. Some of them wanted to do something to recognize that it is a meaningful time in life. One kept a blog for 100 days leading up to her birthday--she wrote down her daily efforts to improve her health. One wanted to have a sort of bucket list of exciting things to do. One wrote down some messages he wanted to pass on to his kids. Someone else had a list of books to read. I've put some thought into it. And I've decided how to celebrate.
I'm going to spend the forty days leading up to my fortieth birthday here, on my blog. I'm going to write out some of the ideals I have and how I approach life. My own life philosophy. My mid-life philosophy, if you will. (I think I'm soooo funny.) I tend to approach life very religiously, but these aren't necessarily my religious beliefs. Just a description of the way I think that influences the way I live.
So, starting tomorrow, 40 days of Megan's Mid-Life Philosophies.
Please, to enjoy.
P.S. Can you believe it's only 40 days until I turn 40? Do I seem like a 40-year-old to you?
I have a milestone birthday coming up. Is that the right word? I think I should open up a thesaurus or something. I'm having trouble thinking of words tonight. My point here is this, I have a birthday coming. On the one hand, it's just another day. Just another birthday. On the other hand, I'm going to be forty! That's a number! A number to celebrate!
During the past few months, I have watched (on Facebook) as several of my friends have hit the big 4-0. Some of them wanted to do something to recognize that it is a meaningful time in life. One kept a blog for 100 days leading up to her birthday--she wrote down her daily efforts to improve her health. One wanted to have a sort of bucket list of exciting things to do. One wrote down some messages he wanted to pass on to his kids. Someone else had a list of books to read. I've put some thought into it. And I've decided how to celebrate.
I'm going to spend the forty days leading up to my fortieth birthday here, on my blog. I'm going to write out some of the ideals I have and how I approach life. My own life philosophy. My mid-life philosophy, if you will. (I think I'm soooo funny.) I tend to approach life very religiously, but these aren't necessarily my religious beliefs. Just a description of the way I think that influences the way I live.
So, starting tomorrow, 40 days of Megan's Mid-Life Philosophies.
Please, to enjoy.
P.S. Can you believe it's only 40 days until I turn 40? Do I seem like a 40-year-old to you?
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