Mistaken identity

Last night, I read Bethie a Christmas pop-up book about life at the North Pole. She got excited when she saw "Santa Boynton!!!" I asked her if his name was Santa Claus or Santa Boynton. She is confident that it is Boynton.

This story may only make sense to those who have very, very young children. If you do not fit that discription, you may google "Sandra Boynton" and have all your questions answered.

Stories

If you have met Nathan, you have met Nathan's imagination. His stories are grand and entertaining. I'm not sure Nathan can always tell the difference between reality and imagination. But for now, that's just part of the fun. Nathan also loves to show off for pretty girls. He gets incredibly animated when girls are around--and his stories become even grander and more entertaining than they normally are. He's only 4!!!!! (He gets this from the Woods side of the family.)

On Saturday, we had two teenage girls in our car with us. All of the kids were talking, talking, talking. The girls were kind and appeared entertained. One of the girls told us about a time she saw a whole group of deer--mamas and babies--in a field by the road in Connecticut. Nathan said, "One day I saw a hundred deer! I was hunting. Just then, I put a force field around the deer to protect them! And then I shot lazer beams out of my eyes at the hunters."

I think he believes it really happened. I love my Nathan.

And snap . . . the job's a game!

I just read this post on my friend, Layne's blog. It perfectly described how I am feeling at the moment. So I am copying it. That's right, word for word. Thanks, Layne! We'll discuss copyright issues and royalties later.

I was just sitting here waiting patiently for our cleaning lady to come...

OH WAIT, I AM THE CLEANING LADY! Reality check.

There is one power that I wish to possess this day. I want to be able to snap my fingers like Mary Poppins and have rooms clean themselves for me. This would be wonderful, wouldn't it? I have often believed so.

A soundtrack for life

Last Friday, my sister-in-law, Laura, blogged about how much she enjoys certain movie soundtracks. She listed some of her favorites. I decided that it would be a good idea if I made my own soundtrack for my life. I have so much more music in my life than could ever be contained on one cd. I made a short playlist of songs that represent the "romantic comedy" aspect of my world. I chose happy, positive songs. They are mostly love songs because love is happy. I know I'm cheesy and I don't care. It makes for good listenin', wouldn't you say? I tried to put some of Chris's original songs on here, but that requires embedding html codes and other things that mean nothing to me. I hope you enjoy the music.

The things we learn

Today for our little scripture-story time during school, we read part of the story of Adam and Eve. We read that they lived in the Garden of Eden. My kids have a cousin named Eden. So I said, "Did you know that is where Eden got her name? She was named after the Garden of Eden." Ammon said, "What? She was named after a forest?" Apparently he thought that was pretty weird. So I said, "So were you." "I was? Really?" Ammon's name is Ammon Forest Woods. Funny.

Growing up

Well, yesterday I tried something I haven't done since the 1980s. I attempted to curl my hair. I didn't even burn myself. And then I used hairspray. I bought some called "flexible hold," but it turns out that is misleading. It still makes your hair stiffer than you are used to if all you usually use is leave-in conditioner. Anyway, I got very frustrated while doing my hair and contemplated never leaving the house again. But I didn't throw a fit. I didn't scream or shout. I didn't even stomp my feet. I'm so proud. I think I've matured a little. I remember when I went to Homecoming my junior year of high school. My date was already there waiting to pick me up. I couldn't get my hair to look the way I wanted it to look. So I threw a little fit. I screamed, shouted, and stomped my feet. It didn't help my hair at all. And shocking as it may seem, that boy asked me out again and again. Silly boy. The end.

Hair update

I have decided I may have exaggerated my haircutting experience just a little. There is the slightest possibility that I was a tiny bit dramatic. Here is a photo of my new haircut. If you look closely, you will see some gentle layering. If I hold my head just right, you can't even tell I got it cut. I still don't like it. I'm going to have to buy a curling iron. A CURLING IRON! We'll see how that works out. I hear those things are hot and can BURN you! But today I tried to put in some gentle curls with my big brush and my hair drier and I liked it more than when I tried to do it straight. Maybe it's supposed to have some sort of something done to it. I don't know. I still haven't figured out the coordination required for using a hair drier and a brush at the same time. My life is full of so many trials and troubles.

Hair today...

Note to self: Yes, you love the way Laura can try new, fun hairstyles and always look good. Yes, you admire the way Brynn can chop off her length and then let it grow back--allowing variety into the life of her hair. Kathryn has fun colors in her hair and she is trendy and stylish. (I feel like I should mention how much I like the hair of every person who could potentially read this blog, but I think you get the idea.)

HOWEVER, you are not Laura, Brynn, or Kathryn. You are not into new or fun. Variety is not the spice of your life. You are neither trendy nor stylish, nor have you ever been. Plain, straight, and familiar is the hairstyle for you. Don't try new things. You won't like it. And you may have even been planning to get family photos taken next week. You don't feel good about yourself when you can't even look in the mirror. Don't do it!

Okay, now that we've got that note to myself written hopefully I can make better decisions in the future than I did today.

Vocabulary

Nathan has always been very verbal. As soon as he learned to talk, he could express himself very well. Unfortunately, a lot of his verbal skills fall under the "inappropriate" catagory. He gets that from his dad. :-)

Today, Nathan used some words I don't think are typical for a kid his age. Especially a kid that cannot sit still through his preschool lessons. He literally climbs the walls. I have a photo of that. Anyway, we passed by a big fountain without any water in it. The fountain is all broken. I think a normal kid would say, "Look. That's broken. It needs to be fixed." But Nathan said, "Look at that! That fountain got damaged. Someone needs to repair it." Later, he told Chris, "If I can't take my blankie in the store, I will run away and never return." (Not "never come back.") Chris said, "And where will you go?" Nathan promptly replied, "North Carolina."

As an 8-year-old . . .

Ammon is funny. One day I tried to wash his face after he was done eating. He said, "As an eight-year-old, I can wash my own face." Very true.

Tonight we went to a special spiritual night for 8-11-year-olds. The lady speaking started crying a little as she bore her testimony. Ammon said, "Oh, how embarrassing!" Later, as we were going to get refreshments, he said, "Mom, it's a good thing I don't wear a suit everyday. I would start to attract women!"

Reverently, Quietly

Our bedtime routine includes family scripture time. Since before Ammon could talk, we have found that we can get the kids' attention and increase the reverence if we begin with a song. Obviously, we prefer church songs or hymns. Tonight, Chris was in a different sort of mood. We were supposed to be reading the scriptures on our bed. Chris grabbed his guitar and sang "I am a Child of God" to the tune of "Grease Lightning." Imagine "I am a child of God and he has sent me here (salvation, oh salvation). Has given me an earthly plan with parents kind and dear (salvation, oh salvation)." etc. And naturally, the kids decided that they should dance and jump on the bed. Here are some photos of our reverent scripture study. I hope you don't lose all respect for our family. Just remember that the Rawlins genes in me require that I disapprove.

Mail Check

When we go to visit Grandma and Grandpa, out kids love to check their mail. For some reason it is a great treat to be able to bring in the mail. The other day, we were riding scooters out on Grandma's front sidewalk. Bethie rode her pushtoy to the corner, but it's a lot of work. So she walked back to the house. When we passed the mailboxes, she stopped and stood facing the back of them. She just stared at them. I said, "Come on, Beth." She said, "Hold on. Wait second." So I waited. Then she said, "There. I check mail." And turned and walked into the house.

My Boots Are On

As many of you already know, U2 released a new album last week. It is U2's first album in 5 years, I believe. I know there are weightier issues to discuss, but I would like to talk U2. My friend, Stephanie Johnson, first introduced me to U2 at a youth conference. We listened to a particular song over and over while she wrote down the lyrics. (That was in the days before you could call up lyrics to any song on the internet.) Even then, I was impressed with the deep meaning of their lyrics. This, I decided, was no ordinary band. I have invested in all of their albums. And as B.B. King said to Bono, "You awful young to be writing such heavy lyrics." Maybe he said, "mighty young." Either way, they write meaningful music. Remember the Superbowl halftime show in 2002? It was just a few months after the terrorist attacks in New York (commonly referred to as 9-11). Who else but U2 could present an appropriate and heartfelt show? They were able to pay tribute to all who lost their lives--and then sing a song that gives the rest of us hope for the future (It's a Beautiful Day). Honestly, it was incredible. I know I was already biased, but there is no other band that could make a Superbowl halftime show that emotional.

Anyway, I have spent too much time watching "Rattle and Hum" over and over. I love the raw energy and passion of their live performances. In high school, I had friends I referred to as my U2 friends. We would get together and talk U2. That's all we had in common. But we were great friends because we had a solid foundation of a great band. My best friend, Jaye, married one of my U2 friends. I have a lot of memories surrounding U2. The last concert I attended was U2--in Denver--on their Zooropa tour. (I'm not a big concert goer.) When, in 1998, U2 released its first Greatest Hits album, my friend Neal and I went to the midnight release party at some record store in Salt Lake. I was the 11th person in Utah to own that cd. I have enjoyed listening to their new music this week. I read people's impressions of it and am grateful that I am not a music critic. I am a fan; and therefore, I am allowed to enjoy music just for fun.

Over the years, as I have watched Bono singlehandedly changing the world for good, I have reflected on how I chose my teen idol. What foresight! What maturity! What depth! Amazing, really. Chris, who isn't much of a U2 fan, has often said that he believes Bono (and Oprah) will be blessed eternally for the good they have done on this earth. Really, if you are unfamiliar with Bono's many projects, you should research them. You could write a term paper on that research--there's that much material. He is impressive--very intelligent and practical. I don't agree with all of his opinions or causes, but one cannot argue that he is doing the best he can with what he knows. Bono is married to his high school girlfriend and has never been accused (even in the tabloids) of misbehavior (other than drinking a bit too much and then passing out). Honestly, if you're going to look up to a celebrity, this is a good one.

It was so fun last week--U2 week on David Letterman! All week long, Bono and the boys playing their music and having fun. I love this band. I don't quite have the same obsessive passion for their music that I had when I was 17, but this is a great band. I could go on and on, but I think I already have. Thanks for listening.

Life imitates art?

There are those of you out there who wonder whether it's a good idea to imitate a favorite literary character. My experience of the last day tells me that it's not. I start my stories with a little background and finish with two examples of why NOT to imitate what you read.

A little background: Yesterday, Sarah went to a birthday party. There was a pinata. Inside the pinata was lots and lots of chewing gum. I hate chewing gum. I hate it so much, it's not allowed at my house. After the kids go trick or treating, I go through their bags and throw out all the gum. When Ammon was little, he thought the Word of Wisdom was that you should not drink coffee or chew gum. Because it is contraband, my kids love it! Anyway...Sarah shared her gum.

Example #1: Violet Beauregarde (from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl)

Nathan grew tired of his piece of chewing gum. So he took it from his mouth and stored it behind his ear. It stuck pretty well to his head--and hair. Even when Chris scrubbed and scrubbed, it would not come clean. What works for Violet, does not work in real life.

Example #2: Br'er Rabbit and Br'er Fox (from Uncle Remus by Joel Chandler Harris)

Nathan grew tired of his gum in his mouth AGAIN! He took it out to stretch it between his fingers. Before long, it was stuck (and I mean STUCK) to all of his fingers. His hands were disgustingly stuck together. He could not get his seatbelt off. It took a very patient father (mother--not so patient) and a whole lot of baby wipes to clean him up enough to go in the store. It reminded me of the whole tar baby incident. The more he tried to get free, the more caught he was.

Chris's version

This is the story as Chris remembers it:

I met you (that's me) at a baptism. I knew I was going to marry you.

Story time

Well, get comfortable. I just realized that it has been 10 years today since I met Chris. So, I thought I'd entertain everyone with a story about said meeting.

One lovely saturday in March, I got home from work wanting to go to a baptism. A girl (Marsha Mark*) in my ward was being baptized. Now, I hadn't officially met her. She technically didn't live in our ward boundaries; her "friend" (now "husband") did. She had only been to our ward twice. And I was usually playing prelude while everyone else was socializing. However, I like baptisms. I was anxious to meet her and get to know her. Plus, I was in the Relief Society presidency and felt a little obligation to go. But I didn't have a car and Carrie wasn't home. I called around in the ward, but couldn't find a ride. So, I decided to stay home and clean out the fridge instead. (Also a worthwhile activity.)

Luckily, my friend, Danielle, arranged a ride for me (and for herself). So I went to the baptism with a bunch of people. We were squished in the car and I didn't even have a seatbelt on. Oh no, I thought, my mom's not going to like this. When I turned 16, she made me promise her that I would never, never ride in a car without a seatbelt. And if I ever died without a seatbelt on, my mother would never speak to me again.

Anyway... (I can tell this is going to be a long story.) I got to the baptism and quietly found a seat by my friend whose name I can't remember. She was a really pretty Maori girl from California. Hmmm...we used to visit teach her. I worked with her. I supervised her, in fact, at the MTC. We sat in the back row. ELSA! I think her name is Elsa! I saw a few people milling around in the front preparing for the service. I saw one particularly handsome young fellah holding some music and standing near the piano. I thought, "Wow. He's good-looking. I should talk to him after the baptism." And then I laughed at myself because by that point in my life, I had sworn off ever, ever talking to a boy ever again. Too much pain.

The service started. It was lovely. There was one musical number. The boys from the BYU a capella group Vocal Point sang "In This Very Room." Eight of them sang back-up. They were all off-key. But that good-looking boy I had noticed previously sang the lead. He was on-key. (I know what you are thinking--maybe he was the one off key and everyone else was on. Give me credit for enough of a musical ear to at least know the difference.) I thought his voice was rich and beautiful. So I said to myself, "Well, there is a perfect 'in.' What an easy way to start a conversation--by complimenting his singing." And then I nearly laughed right out loud at myself. I was really done initiating conversations with boys. They're so dumb and they cause so much pain.

After the meeting, I was standing by myself eating refreshments. I'm better at eating than socializing. My friend Scott came over to chat. Scott and I were in the same ward and we also worked together at the MTC. I really liked talking to him. It turns out, Scott was in Vocal Point. I didn't even know he could sing. We chatted along and then Chris (oh wait, he was still nameless in my story)...and then that good-looking boy came up, pointed at me, and said, "You're cool and I don't even know you." I took the opportunity to compliment his singing. We began to chat casually. And I noticed out of the corner of my eye Scott looking back and forth at us and then slowly backing away.

Chris and I chatted for a while. And then he left. He didn't get my phone number. That was weird, I thought. I went home. At the next Relief Society presidency meeting, my friends asked me, "Who was that guy at the baptism?" I said his name was Chris and he didn't get my phone number. They couldn't believe it. One of them said, "You could actually see the sparks flying between the two of you." I was embarrassed, but I couldn't stop smiling.

The next Saturday, I came home to find a very weird message on my phone. It was my friend Scott laughing his head off and asking me to call back. I talked to him the next day at church. He said, "Remember my friend Chris?" I tried to casually say that I did, but instead I got a big cheesy grin on my face and I probably turned bright red. Scott asked permission to give Chris my phone number. Now I had expectations.

Time passed. Chris didn't call. I didn't see Scott for a long time. One day in mid-May, I ran into Scott at the MTC. We talked for a while. I kept wanting to ask him if his friend Chris would ever call me. But I didn't want to appear interested. That would ruin the aloof demeanor that was so important to me in a dating relationship. "Always keep 'em guessing"--that was my motto.

It wasn't too much later that Chris FINALLY called! It was maybe May 18 when he called. He asked me out for the next Friday. I remember the date because the next day, May 19, was the day Star Wars Episode I came out. I went to a showing with my family. I told them I had a date that weekend. My mom said I must really like this guy because I never told her when I had a date. I didn't know I didn't tell my mom everything. But most boys weren't worth talking about. My sister Brynn asked, "Is this that guy from the baptism?" I said, "I told you about that?!" That was evidence to me that Chris must have made an impression on me.

Well, why don't you wait until May and I'll tell you the rest of the story.

*You may have heard of Marsha Mark (now Marsha Mark Baird). She ran track in the Sydney and Athens Olympics. She ran for Trinidad and Tobago. Um, maybe you haven't heard of her. But I have. And now I can call her my friend.

Beth's determination

As the kids were finishing their cereal, I ran upstairs to post a blog about Nathan--all for your reading enjoyment. The kids finished eating and trickled upstairs to play. After a few minutes, I asked, "Is Bethie in there with you?" She wasn't! (Just a sidenote--if this had happened--you know, a 2-year-old left alone--when Sarah or Nathan was two, it would have been a cause for concern and I would have gone downstairs to find a major disaster!)

Anyway, I eventually went downstairs to find Beth, still at the table, trying to eat her dry cereal with chopsticks. (She chose to go milkless today.) She was eating something of the flakey variety. She said, "Mom, I can't do it!" I said, "Use your spoon." She said, "Oh, okay." And was able to finish her breakfast.

I just heard her putting her dishes in the sink. Where did such a sweet little girl come from?

Life According to Nathan

We dropped by on Sunday to take my dad some beautiful artwork for his birthday. Oh, the things you can create with a crayon! Nathan had made a book--a few pages covered with letters and stapled together. Nathan has just recently become interested in writing letters at all. And there is no rhyme or reason to the way he writes them. Grandpa opened the book and Nathan said, "What does it say?" Grandpa said, "I'm not sure. Nathan, will you come over here and help me read it?" Nathan looked at him incredulously and said, "I can't read!"

Yesterday, we were playing with cousins. Naomi and Sarah had teamed up and Nathan was feeling a little left out. So, because he is a boy, he resorted to teasing and annoying the girls. When this behavior ran its course, he decided to find a compromise--something they could do together. He suggested "Ninja Ballerinas!"

Daddy's turn

I promise we do more with our kids than force them to clean their own messes.

Nathan is 4.
Sarah is 6.
Ammon is 8.

1. What is something daddy always says to you?
N. Clean our rooms.
S. Clean your room.
A. Cool, man.

2. What makes daddy happy?
N. Cleaning our rooms.
S. Our rooms clean.
A. If we clean our rooms.

3. What makes daddy sad?
N. Not cleaning our rooms.
S. Our rooms messy. That makes him mad.
A. If we don’t clean our rooms.

4. How does your daddy make you laugh?
N. He dances funny. And when he plays "Fly and be free" with us. And that makes me happy.
S. He tickles us.
A. Shakin’ his bum.

5. What was your daddy like as a child?
N. He liked making fires.
S. He liked to play with Doug.
A. He always got in trouble with Doug.

6. How old is your daddy?
N. 26.
S. 36.
A. 36.

7. How tall is your daddy?
N. 26 tall.
S. 52 30 a million.
A. Not a 100 feet. 1 meter?

8. What is his favorite thing to do?
N. Clean our rooms and throw away toys.
S. Have our rooms clean and go fishing.
A. Go fishing.

9. What does your daddy do when you're not around?
N. Eats.
S. Throw away our toys.
A. Working on the computer.

10. If your daddy becomes famous, what will it be for?
N. He’s so good at something.
S. Movie maker.
A. A movie star.

11. What is your daddy really good at?
N. Singing.
S. Jump roping.
A. Are you smarter than a 5th grader?

12. What is your daddy not very good at?
N. Not good at painting.
S. Hula hooping.
A. Hula hooping.

13. What does your daddy do for a job?
N. He goes to work.
S. He goes to work. He teaches Westridge Academy.
A. He’s a musician.

14.What is your daddy's favorite food?
N. Spaghetti
S. Fish.
A. Doughnuts.

15.What makes you proud of your daddy?
N. Cleaning our rooms!
S. Not throwing away our toys.
A. Picking me up from Scouts. I love it when he picks me up from Scouts.

16. If your dad were a cartoon character, who would he be?
N. Bumblebee (Transformers)
S. Captain Jack Sparrow
A. Little Charlie Bucket

17. What do you and your daddy do together?
N. Play together.
S. Go on dates.
A. We go to football games, go to Chinese restaurants, and Arctic Circle to get fish there.

18. How are you and your daddy the same?
N. We’re both boys.
S. We’re both good jump ropers.
A. We’re both boys.

19. How are you and your daddy different?
N. He doesn’t mess up the house.
S. He’s darker than me.
A. He’s black and I’m pretty light.

20. How do you know your daddy loves you?
N. He plays with me.
S. He says so.
A. He always says that.

21. What does your daddy like most about your mom?
N. She cleans our rooms.
S. That you help clean the kids’ room.
A. He loves her. They go on dates together. They’re both black. Ha ha ha.

22. Where is your daddy's favorite place to go?
N. Out to dinner.
S. Chinese restaurant.
A. California.

Is this how they see me?

I interviewed the kids and asked them what they thought of me. Here it is. (We did this separately so they didn't hear each others' answers.)

Nathan is 4.
Sarah is 6.
Ammon is 8.

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
N. Clean our rooms.
S. I love you.
A. I love you.

2. What makes mommy happy?
N. Cleaning our rooms.
S. Our rooms cleaned.
A. When we clean our rooms.

3. What makes mommy sad?
N. Not cleaning our rooms.
S. Our rooms are dirty.
A. When we yell at you.

4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
N. I don't know.
S. When she tickles me.
A. When she is funny, of course.

5. What was your mommy like as a child?
N. A kid.
S. She yelled at her big sister, Lisa.
A. She had fits. That was a joke.

6. How old is your mommy?
N. Don't know.
S. 36 or younger.
A. 34.

7. How tall is your mommy?
N. 40 feet tall, I think.
S. Like, 40 feet. Or 100 million.
A. Oo, that's a hard one. I don't even know.

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
N. Cleaning our rooms.
S. To cuddle.
A. Go out to dinner at Gecko's.

9. What does your mommy do when you're not around?
N. Clean the house when we go fishing.
S. Clean the downstairs.
A. Go on dates.

10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
N. Don't know.
S. Being a great, great art painter.
A. A rock star.

11. What is your mommy really good at?
N. Cleaning our rooms.
S. Caring about her family.
A. Singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." That was a joke, too.

12. What is your mommy not very good at?
N. Not good at messing up the house.
S. Not good at jumping on the bed.
A. Not very good at burping.

13. What does your mommy do for a job?
N. Clean our rooms or clean the house.
S. Go to sleep.
A. Clean.

14.What is your mommy's favorite food?
N. Salad.
S. Lasagna.
A. Burritos.

15.What makes you proud of your mommy?
N. Cleaning our rooms.
S. Cleaning my room for me.
A. When you let us get a babysitter. We always obey the babysitter.

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
N. Woody (from Toy Story)
S. Cinderella
A. Spiderman

17. What do you and your mommy do together?
N. Go to the carousel.
S. We go on dates.
A. Now that one's easy. We play board games, go on dates, go out to dinner together.

18. How are you and your mommy the same?
N. We're both humans.
S. We both are girls with long hair.
A. We're part of a family together. We both have two hands and two feet. We both wear clothes and socks.

19. How are you and your mommy different?
N. Mommy didn't mess up the house and I mess up the house.
S. She has blue eyes and I have brown.
A. I think burping is not gross and she thinks burping is gross.

20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
N. 'Cause I hug you.
S. 'Cause she says she loves me everyday.
A. Ah, that's easy. You're my mom, of course.

21. What does your mommy like most about your dad?
N. He mows the lawn.
S. That he helps clean our room once.
A. They love each other. They'll never get divorced, never. Even in heaven.

22. Where is your mommy's favorite place to go?
N. Carousel with me.
S. Co-op. (homeschool co-op with other families)
A. Grandma's house. (my mom's)