Everyone needs a smart friend.

I hope this post doesn't embarrass anyone. If my friend doesn't like this post, I will delete it. Because I don't want to be put on friend probation.

I have a friend. My friend is a smart friend. I think he knows everything. That is one of my theories in this life: Neal knows everything. I don't mean that he knows EVERYTHING, I mean that he knows the answer to everything I might be smart enough to think of asking. And then some.

He knows how to cook from scratch. He can crack two eggs with one hand. He knows what kinds of flowers are edible. One time he made a salad with lilies in it. I think they were lilies. At any rate, they were edible flowers. Who knew a salad could be so pretty? Neal taught me how to give myself a manicure. He knows boy things, too. (Note: Neal is NOT gay. Just like Jacob.) He can change the oil. He can fix any computer problem. He knows how to pick out a good camera. He can do all the scout-type skills when we go camping. He can get a splinter out of his little daughter's finger with a pocket knife. He can help us move and fit more of our stuff in the back of his truck than seems humanly possible because his brain is so organized. Neal can quote tv shows and movies and other pop-culture trivia with the best of them. If I need help finding good books to help my kids learn the joy of reading, Neal knows just what to recommend. Technically, he is a biologist (or is it a botanist?), but honestly, he knows all about everything.

One time, I was in California at a park. I was showing my sister-in-law some of the fun pictures I had taken of her new baby while on vacation. And then I accidentally deleted ALL of the photos on my camera. My digital camera that Neal picked out and said it was a good one and I just believed him because Neal knows everything. My first thought while sitting in that park was, "Neal can fix that." But then I thought I would give it a try. I don't have to be so helpless all the time. Um, I shouldn't have tried. I almost ruined the whole darn thing. Neal knew exactly how to fix it, once I gave up and asked him. He e-mailed me directions. (He lives far, far away on Nebraska's plains.) I couldn't get the directions to work. So my smart brother, Jacob, followed Neal's directions and fixed my camera and saved my photos of my cute new nephew, Jack.

And then we were playing this game on Facebook. We had to open the book closest to us and turn to a certain page and write the 5th sentence on the page, or something like that. My brother, Michael, quoted from a textbook. It was a Linear Algebra textbook. And Neal commented back by saying, "Anton and Rorres, if I'm not mistaken." WHAT? He knew what textbook Michael was quoting! How can that be? It wasn't even a biology book; it was linear algebra. I said that this just goes to prove my theory: Neal knows everything.

Well, we moved recently. As you might know. It was a confusing move because we were throwing away almost everything. And putting almost everything else into storage. And moving just a few things to my mom's. But those things are divided into things to go to England and things to use temporarily at Mom's. As organized as I think I am, something was bound to go wrong. Well, something did. We lost 2 flash drives. Maybe they are called thumb drives. I don't know. Neal probably knows. But you all know what I mean. Those little things that hold amazing amounts of information and you store stuff on them that you don't have room for on your hard drive. We lost 2 of them. I don't mean we lost the information on them; I mean we lost them. This was stuff I needed and wanted. The flash drives were gone. I didn't know what to do. But then I did know what to do. Neal can fix this, I told myself. Neal knows everything. I told Jacob (my brother) about my situation and asked if he thought Neal could fix it. He laughed and said, "Probably."

Then my sister, Rachel, came over to visit. I sat her down at my computer to show her the new family photos we had taken. When I pulled out the desk drawer, Rachel leaned over and picked up a flash drive. I said, "Where did that come from?" Apparently, it was stuck in the runners of the drawer. And then Rachel pulled out the drawer and found the other one! The flash drives are saved! I didn't have to bug Neal! And I have decided that it is possible that Rachel is smarter than Neal. So, for the next family party, I am expecting an edible lily salad and some linear algebra quotes, Rachel. Good luck with that new title. And Neal, the pressure is off. I have another smart friend.