The Key to Freedom
I live in a land of liberty. Freedom, perhaps more than anything else, is the value that unites us as a nation. We may have different ideas about how to go about ensuring our freedom, but we all want to be free. Freedom is attacked from both the outside and the inside. Our amazing military helps to protect us against the outside forces that would destroy our liberty. And I believe teachers are among those who protect us from the destructive forces on the inside.
My opinion is that education is the key to democracy. An educated people is a free people. Educated people will work to maintain their own rights and to guarantee liberty for all. This is why I shamelessly support the public school system. Oh, I have my doubts about aspects of "the system." But the whole idea of free schools open to every single child in the entire country--what a concept! It's brilliant! As I study history, I can't help but feel that the idea of public school is one of those ideals that set America apart from the beginning.
I am not saying teachers in any way replace the much more important role of parents in educating children. I feel passionately about the responsibility of parents to teach their children, especially about faith, morals, and social values. I feel so passionately about parents' responsibility that I educate my own children at home. However, this post is about my personal philosophy on the role of educating every single citizen.
I am grateful for the education I received from my public school teachers. I was lucky to be the fourth child in my family, which means my older siblings had weeded out the really good teachers from the mediocre ones. I knew, from their experience, which classes to take in my high school. Maybe that's why I had such a fantastic experience in school. I had my favorite teachers, of course. I remember them. If I had any duds, they've faded from memory. My public school experience prepared me well for my university education. I have no complaints.
I know some public schools are better than others. The ideal is to offer the same quality education to children no matter the socioeconomic level of their parents. We're working toward that ideal to make us equal in opportunity and set every person at liberty to choose their own path. It's not perfect, far from, but it's an ideal we can support. Every person deserves a chance to learn.
To me, learning is freedom.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Monday, April 28, 2014
Mid-Life Philosophy--7
An Inconvenient Truth
Like most new moms, when I had my first baby, my whole world started spinning around him. I was absorbed with taking care of him. I adored him. When he was about three months old, I hosted a baby shower for my sister. I decided to have a little fun with the invitations. They were handmade pop-up cards. They were very interactive. And they took some time to make. I was blissfully enjoying my creative process when I heard a little cry from the bedroom. My baby, it seems, had woken up from his nap. I felt frustrated. It surprised me. This was the first time I had felt frustration directed toward my perfect baby boy. I was very blessed that I immediately recognized that I wasn't frustrated with my baby; I was frustrated because I had been interrupted.
As motherhood goes on, I find that most (not all) of the time I am frustrated or short-tempered with my kids, it's because they are being inconvenient. If I am focused on them and their needs, they don't bother me. We get along great. But when they interrupt something I'm doing, I tend to snap at them. It's certainly not their fault.
This isn't to say that I need to pay all of my attention to the children all of the time. That's ridiculous. I am grateful to recognize that when they are annoying, frustrating, or bothersome, it is not necessarily because they, the children, are annoying, frustrating, or bothersome. It's usually because I have something else on my mind or something else to do.
Why is this something important enough for me to consider it one of my life philosophies? Because knowing that "it's not them, it's me" helps me be a little more patient. If I snap, I catch myself and apologize. I explain that I'm not frustrated with them, I'm frustrated because of some other reason. It's a good reminder to me and I use it often. I think it strengthens our relationships with each other. I don't use this as an excuse for my bad behavior. I use it as a reminder to stop myself from behaving badly.
Children are sometimes inconvenient. Lots of worthwhile things are inconvenient when I have a separate agenda. I am so grateful that I learned so early on to recognize the real reason for my frustration. The children are innocent when they ask for my attention. If I can't give them immediate attention, the least I can do is kindly explain why.
Like most new moms, when I had my first baby, my whole world started spinning around him. I was absorbed with taking care of him. I adored him. When he was about three months old, I hosted a baby shower for my sister. I decided to have a little fun with the invitations. They were handmade pop-up cards. They were very interactive. And they took some time to make. I was blissfully enjoying my creative process when I heard a little cry from the bedroom. My baby, it seems, had woken up from his nap. I felt frustrated. It surprised me. This was the first time I had felt frustration directed toward my perfect baby boy. I was very blessed that I immediately recognized that I wasn't frustrated with my baby; I was frustrated because I had been interrupted.
As motherhood goes on, I find that most (not all) of the time I am frustrated or short-tempered with my kids, it's because they are being inconvenient. If I am focused on them and their needs, they don't bother me. We get along great. But when they interrupt something I'm doing, I tend to snap at them. It's certainly not their fault.
This isn't to say that I need to pay all of my attention to the children all of the time. That's ridiculous. I am grateful to recognize that when they are annoying, frustrating, or bothersome, it is not necessarily because they, the children, are annoying, frustrating, or bothersome. It's usually because I have something else on my mind or something else to do.
Why is this something important enough for me to consider it one of my life philosophies? Because knowing that "it's not them, it's me" helps me be a little more patient. If I snap, I catch myself and apologize. I explain that I'm not frustrated with them, I'm frustrated because of some other reason. It's a good reminder to me and I use it often. I think it strengthens our relationships with each other. I don't use this as an excuse for my bad behavior. I use it as a reminder to stop myself from behaving badly.
Children are sometimes inconvenient. Lots of worthwhile things are inconvenient when I have a separate agenda. I am so grateful that I learned so early on to recognize the real reason for my frustration. The children are innocent when they ask for my attention. If I can't give them immediate attention, the least I can do is kindly explain why.
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Mid-Life Philosophy--8
Enjoy the Drive
Chris and I started taking road trips right after we got married. We like to go places, usually to see people, and the car is the most inexpensive way to get there. When Ammon was very, very little, we learned the important lesson that the drive is part of the vacation. For many of those quick trips, we spent as many days driving as we did at the vacation destination. We had better learn to enjoy the drive or we would be miserable!
There are perhaps three main things that we do to enjoy the drive:
1. Take things to do in the car. Sometimes I have spent a lot of time packing our car entertainment. Maps for the kids to mark, books to read aloud or books on cd, pictures, magazines, coloring, snack bags, music, etc. All of it makes the trip enjoyable. The key here is that I have to interact with the children. They may have packs of activities, but it all works best if I interact with them, too. Chris and I have had some of our best conversations while driving in the car. Instead of driving as fast as we can to enjoy family time once we get there, we enjoy the family time that we have on the way.
2. Look out the windows. There is beauty everywhere. I admit having a hard time in certain locations. But most places I have been have a beauty of their own. To me, the best word to describe Nebraska is pleasant. Southern Utah is breathtaking for my inner-geologist. I have figured out why New Jersey is called the garden state. I love farmland, orchards, vineyards, empty spaces, desert, mountains, ocean views, and the occasional city. It makes a drive so much more enjoyable if we look out the windows and appreciate where we are.
3. Stop once in a while. I was talking about road trips with friends the other night. They were describing screaming babies and toddlers, trying to hold a bottle for a baby in the back seat, or sitting next to a baby in a car seat and trying to nurse her. I said, "We just go to a rest stop." They said but then you are there for an hour! Yes, we are. We have found little parks in small towns in Nevada for picnics and playgrounds. Some states have little walks or hikes at their rest stops. An hour seems to be sufficient for our kids. When we drove from Utah to New York, we planned very specifically so we could stop to visit our brothers, a cousin, and close friends. We planned to stop at historical sites along the way. We didn't have a lot of time, but we planned enough time to make the drive a vacation.
In my last area on my mission, we got to have a car. My companion usually drove. Sometimes she would get impatient with the traffic or whatever. I remember several times saying, "We're not in a hurry." That was always true. We had enough time. I still find myself saying that to Chris on occasion. (Although sometimes we are in a hurry.) We seem to live far away from everything here. It takes an twenty-five minutes to drive to our church building. It takes about an hour to drive to the temple. Instead of complaining about that time, we can look out the windows and talk to each other. I try to enjoy the drive, whether short or long, and I think this little philosophy has improved my family relationships and made life more pleasant.
Chris and I started taking road trips right after we got married. We like to go places, usually to see people, and the car is the most inexpensive way to get there. When Ammon was very, very little, we learned the important lesson that the drive is part of the vacation. For many of those quick trips, we spent as many days driving as we did at the vacation destination. We had better learn to enjoy the drive or we would be miserable!
There are perhaps three main things that we do to enjoy the drive:
1. Take things to do in the car. Sometimes I have spent a lot of time packing our car entertainment. Maps for the kids to mark, books to read aloud or books on cd, pictures, magazines, coloring, snack bags, music, etc. All of it makes the trip enjoyable. The key here is that I have to interact with the children. They may have packs of activities, but it all works best if I interact with them, too. Chris and I have had some of our best conversations while driving in the car. Instead of driving as fast as we can to enjoy family time once we get there, we enjoy the family time that we have on the way.
2. Look out the windows. There is beauty everywhere. I admit having a hard time in certain locations. But most places I have been have a beauty of their own. To me, the best word to describe Nebraska is pleasant. Southern Utah is breathtaking for my inner-geologist. I have figured out why New Jersey is called the garden state. I love farmland, orchards, vineyards, empty spaces, desert, mountains, ocean views, and the occasional city. It makes a drive so much more enjoyable if we look out the windows and appreciate where we are.
3. Stop once in a while. I was talking about road trips with friends the other night. They were describing screaming babies and toddlers, trying to hold a bottle for a baby in the back seat, or sitting next to a baby in a car seat and trying to nurse her. I said, "We just go to a rest stop." They said but then you are there for an hour! Yes, we are. We have found little parks in small towns in Nevada for picnics and playgrounds. Some states have little walks or hikes at their rest stops. An hour seems to be sufficient for our kids. When we drove from Utah to New York, we planned very specifically so we could stop to visit our brothers, a cousin, and close friends. We planned to stop at historical sites along the way. We didn't have a lot of time, but we planned enough time to make the drive a vacation.
In my last area on my mission, we got to have a car. My companion usually drove. Sometimes she would get impatient with the traffic or whatever. I remember several times saying, "We're not in a hurry." That was always true. We had enough time. I still find myself saying that to Chris on occasion. (Although sometimes we are in a hurry.) We seem to live far away from everything here. It takes an twenty-five minutes to drive to our church building. It takes about an hour to drive to the temple. Instead of complaining about that time, we can look out the windows and talk to each other. I try to enjoy the drive, whether short or long, and I think this little philosophy has improved my family relationships and made life more pleasant.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Mid-Life Philosophy--9
Highest Common Denominator
You've heard the phrase "When in Rome, do as the Romans do," right? Yes, yes, I've heard it, too. This is my take on that phrase. Never, ever should I lower my own standards. Never. However, if I'm with someone whose standards are stricter than mine, I abide by them. This is especially true when we involve children.
One of my sisters eats no chocolate. She doesn't let her kids have chocolate. So, when I'm with her, I serve no chocolate. I guess I'm not that strict about it because if someone else brings a chocolate dish, I'll eat it. But as for what I bring, I figure there are plenty of foodstuffs out there that don't have chocolate in them. So many options. I can easily choose something non-chocolaty when we're together.
My brother- and sister-in-law don't let their kids watch any television. We don't see each other that often and I think it's such a small thing to go without t.v. for a week when we're together. I can make it easy for their children to obey their family rules. It's so frustrating to be the only strict mom in a large group. I know how that feels. I think it's common courtesy to uphold someone else's rules when you're together.
I really appreciate it when people respect my family's rules. My oldest son was invited to a party recently. Knowing that we are fairly strict (depending on the comparison), the mother messaged me to ask if a certain movie was acceptable. It was. She made it clear that if it wasn't okay with me, her son would choose something else to do. How great is it when people can respect each other that way! I love it.
The concessions I make are very simple and hardly affect my family at all. Hopefully, I can make it easier for other parents if I respect their family rules while we are together. I am certainly grateful when my friends do that for me.
You've heard the phrase "When in Rome, do as the Romans do," right? Yes, yes, I've heard it, too. This is my take on that phrase. Never, ever should I lower my own standards. Never. However, if I'm with someone whose standards are stricter than mine, I abide by them. This is especially true when we involve children.
One of my sisters eats no chocolate. She doesn't let her kids have chocolate. So, when I'm with her, I serve no chocolate. I guess I'm not that strict about it because if someone else brings a chocolate dish, I'll eat it. But as for what I bring, I figure there are plenty of foodstuffs out there that don't have chocolate in them. So many options. I can easily choose something non-chocolaty when we're together.
My brother- and sister-in-law don't let their kids watch any television. We don't see each other that often and I think it's such a small thing to go without t.v. for a week when we're together. I can make it easy for their children to obey their family rules. It's so frustrating to be the only strict mom in a large group. I know how that feels. I think it's common courtesy to uphold someone else's rules when you're together.
I really appreciate it when people respect my family's rules. My oldest son was invited to a party recently. Knowing that we are fairly strict (depending on the comparison), the mother messaged me to ask if a certain movie was acceptable. It was. She made it clear that if it wasn't okay with me, her son would choose something else to do. How great is it when people can respect each other that way! I love it.
The concessions I make are very simple and hardly affect my family at all. Hopefully, I can make it easier for other parents if I respect their family rules while we are together. I am certainly grateful when my friends do that for me.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Mid-Life Philosophy--10
Maintaining My Image
When I graduated from BYU, the university awarded a couple of honorary doctorates. One of the recipients, who did not share our religious affiliation, was a commencement speaker. His speech was meant to be lighthearted and entertaining. Parts of it were very funny but other parts were inappropriate, especially in the religious setting of BYU. It was better suited for late-night television. After graduation, we went out to dinner. We talked a bit about this speech. I mentioned that from where I was sitting, I could see President Monson's reaction to everything said. During genuinely funny parts of the speech, he threw his head back and laughed. During those parts that were even slightly questionable, he did not even smile. Knowing that President Monson was on a stage in front of thousands of people, one of our friends said, "I bet those guys need to be really careful about their image."
Later that night, I mentioned to my sister that I didn't really like the thought that President Monson was carefully protecting his image. My sister said, "He doesn't have to worry about his image. He is his image." There Rachel is again, being wise.
I've thought a lot about what Rachel said. What a great thing it is to be your image--never have to worry about behaving inappropriately because you are genuinely a good person. I admit to being on my best behavior at times. I still have to filter out some things before I speak or act. And that's okay. I'm learning and growing. My goal is to become my image (and have that image be a good one). I'm not dishonest in the way I present myself. I try to be the same in the dark and in the light, at home and in public, on my own and in a crowd. This is the basis of integrity. But sometimes I have to think it through. Aspects of being my best self come very naturally. Other thoughts and behaviors come more naturally as I grow closer to my Savior. I'm not quite where I want to be yet.
One of Shakespeare's more popular lines is, "To thine own self be true." Sometimes this philosophy is used to justify bad behavior because a person is being true to whatever image she thinks she wants to promote. Honestly, we're all pretty complicated. We can choose different parts of ourselves to hold up and to develop. I choose to develop the truest part of me.
We are all children of God. I believe that wholeheartedly. We each have a divine nature and a divine destiny. We have inherited something of God's goodness within our souls. To become the truest me I can be, I need to discover my truest self. I lived before I was born. Heavenly Father knows me so much better than I know myself. The closer I am to my Heavenly Father, the better I can know who I really am. As I discover my own divine nature, I discover the true me. I want to embrace that me. I want to be true to myself. The best way to do that is by being true to God.
My image, the person I present to the world, is my choice. I want it to be a true, honest image of who I really am. And who I really am is a child of the Most High God. When I am close to Him, I come to know myself. Through the Atonement of my Savior, my behaviors change and my character changes. I progress toward my divine potential. I am my image.
When I graduated from BYU, the university awarded a couple of honorary doctorates. One of the recipients, who did not share our religious affiliation, was a commencement speaker. His speech was meant to be lighthearted and entertaining. Parts of it were very funny but other parts were inappropriate, especially in the religious setting of BYU. It was better suited for late-night television. After graduation, we went out to dinner. We talked a bit about this speech. I mentioned that from where I was sitting, I could see President Monson's reaction to everything said. During genuinely funny parts of the speech, he threw his head back and laughed. During those parts that were even slightly questionable, he did not even smile. Knowing that President Monson was on a stage in front of thousands of people, one of our friends said, "I bet those guys need to be really careful about their image."
Later that night, I mentioned to my sister that I didn't really like the thought that President Monson was carefully protecting his image. My sister said, "He doesn't have to worry about his image. He is his image." There Rachel is again, being wise.
I've thought a lot about what Rachel said. What a great thing it is to be your image--never have to worry about behaving inappropriately because you are genuinely a good person. I admit to being on my best behavior at times. I still have to filter out some things before I speak or act. And that's okay. I'm learning and growing. My goal is to become my image (and have that image be a good one). I'm not dishonest in the way I present myself. I try to be the same in the dark and in the light, at home and in public, on my own and in a crowd. This is the basis of integrity. But sometimes I have to think it through. Aspects of being my best self come very naturally. Other thoughts and behaviors come more naturally as I grow closer to my Savior. I'm not quite where I want to be yet.
One of Shakespeare's more popular lines is, "To thine own self be true." Sometimes this philosophy is used to justify bad behavior because a person is being true to whatever image she thinks she wants to promote. Honestly, we're all pretty complicated. We can choose different parts of ourselves to hold up and to develop. I choose to develop the truest part of me.
We are all children of God. I believe that wholeheartedly. We each have a divine nature and a divine destiny. We have inherited something of God's goodness within our souls. To become the truest me I can be, I need to discover my truest self. I lived before I was born. Heavenly Father knows me so much better than I know myself. The closer I am to my Heavenly Father, the better I can know who I really am. As I discover my own divine nature, I discover the true me. I want to embrace that me. I want to be true to myself. The best way to do that is by being true to God.
My image, the person I present to the world, is my choice. I want it to be a true, honest image of who I really am. And who I really am is a child of the Most High God. When I am close to Him, I come to know myself. Through the Atonement of my Savior, my behaviors change and my character changes. I progress toward my divine potential. I am my image.
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