I still remember, even though it's the 14th...

Last Friday was September 11. I wrote a little thing that I meant to post on my blog, but I was having some blog-posting issues. Some of my loyal readership have already read this on Facebook. It's pretty much the same here. But, this is for Mom.

Today we commemorate the terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, as well as the avoided attack that resulted in a plane crash in Pennsylvania. I have heard today some popular catch phrases along the lines of never forgetting. Sometimes I wish I could forget, but this day and what it means to me, weigh heavily in my mind. Here are some of the things I will never forget about September 11, 2001:

• September 11 is my mom's birthday. It's been her day for a long time. Every year, September 11 is a strange combination of birthday celebrations and memorial tributes.


• On 9-11-2001, I turned on the Today Show, as was my habit. I watched in horror and shock as the story unfolded. Oddly enough, one of my main concerns was that Katie Couric has little children. Did she know if they were safe? We kept the t.v. on for hours, but we finally couldn't take the depressing confusion anymore so we turned it off.


• As I drove somewhere that day, I saw that almost every house was flying an American flag. And every place of business had their flag flying at half-staff. It was very moving to me and I had to pull over to the side of the road to allow the tears to flow freely. I'm not really much for crying, so this was kind of a big deal.


• Everything closed--classes were canceled, football and baseball were postponed, office buildings shut down. The world was quiet. Perhaps most quiet were the skies. We are so accustom to air traffic, we almost don't hear it. But without it, the world was eerie...like one of those destruction-type movies that seem to attract Will Smith.


• The evening of September 11 was something I will never forget. I was exhausted--physically and emotionally--from the events of the day. The local television stations broke from the national news broadcasts to instead broadcast an unplanned Mormon Tabernacle Choir concert. As they sang, a great peace filled our home and my heart. I knew and was confident that God loves each of his children and He will give us peace--not as the world gives. His peace is not of the world. My world that day knew no peace until the time of the concert. The Choir sang patriotic numbers and a few hymns. I remember hearing "God Bless America," "Bring Him Home" (from Les Miserables), I think I heard "Danny Boy," and "God Be With You 'Till We Meet Again." Each song spoke to my heart and helped begin my healing. I know I live far from the tragedy and technically was not affected, but (like most Americans) that day changed me.


• The next few days were very strange. Life continued to be on hold. President Bush called for a National Day of Prayer. It was incredible to unite with others in my country to pray together. There was a great burst of unity in the entire country.


• I think we look at ourselves as likable people who want to help other people. This quality is at the heart of America. We may want to go about it in different ways, but we sincerely want to help people of the world. We feel greatly blessed to live in this country. But we, as a whole, do not feel that we are better than the peoples of other nations. We believe all people deserve freedom and accessibility to education, medicine, and the other things that make our daily standard of living so incredible. I think it surprised us, as a whole, that there are people who are so evil and filled with so much hate that they would come right into our country and attack us. We know there are terrorists elsewhere, but these people had lived here and had met some of us. I feel like Pam from The Office who said, "I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn't hate me."


• The first day the airplanes were allowed to fly again was monumental. I have always looked at air traffic as noise pollution and real pollution. A convenience, sure, but an environmentally costly one. I specifically remember standing outside with my 8 1/2 month old son and pointing up to the sky. There was a plane flying overhead. I told Ammon, "That is a symbol of our freedom." Our incredible freedom to travel wherever we choose to go in relative safety. What a great land we live in.


• Today I sat with my children. We looked at images from 9-11 and watched some videos. I explained to them what happened and why it happened. I made them cry. I didn't mean to make them cry, but I was sobbing. I hope they will let the meaning of this day become a part of who they are and make them better.


• A few days after 9-11-01, I read an editorial written by Jay Evenson. It was titled, "When evil besets, what do we tell children?" Because I am a mother, the best interest of children is always on my mind. He ended his article with this:

"I read advice from Dr. Carole Lieberman, a Beverly Hills psychiatrist who was quoted in the Los Angeles Daily News. She said the grown-ups who attacked civilians in the United States were taught as children to hate. Parents, she said, should teach children the importance of loving their fellow man. Remind them that 'we're all human and we're all fragile.'

"The trick, then, isn't to make the world look as if it is a safe place for humans. It is to make the types of humans who can grow up to make the world a little safer.

"As I think about it, that's really the best hope we have left."

How did this day change me? I am teaching my little children to love. I am teaching them to make the world safer. I sincerely believe that we can make the world a better place by simply being better people. I am trying to be a grown-up who can change my little part of the world to be better. I would never wish a tragedy like this on any country. But I am grateful for the lessons I have learned.