Mid-Life Philosophy--12

No Regrets

My brother, best friend, favorite cousin, other cousins and friends and I all were on our missions at the same time. Several of us (maybe not all of us) signed our letters to each other with the phrase: "No regrets!" Our idea was that we would serve honorably and completely so we could return home without regrets. (I guess that was self-explanatory.) A couple weeks before I was to return home, I was tracting with another missionary. She asked me, "So, do you have any regrets?" I thought about that for a few minutes before I could respond. I answered honestly, "No. There are things I would do differently if I could go back, but I was just learning."

At this point, when I think about my mission, there are plenty of things I would do differently now. Now that I am much more mature (trust me!). Now that I have more life experience. Now that I have a better understanding of gospel principles. Now that I have a deeper testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I am pretty sure I could be a better missionary now. However, I have no regrets for the way I served then. I did my best. I learned; I progressed; I testified; I grew.

"No regrets" is the way I want to look at all my life. As a teenager, I was very forward-thinking. I wasn't one to embrace the "seize the moment" or "you only live once" mantra. I had lots of fun, but I always knew I'd be accountable later. Being forward-thinking helped me avoid a lot of regret.

I have made tons of mistakes in my life. I make them every day. I know what it is to repent in sorrow. I know how it feels to be forgiven of God and have a return of light and peace. I also know that I can forgive myself and move forward. That is an essential part of living without regret--being able to move forward and let things go. That is part of what I meant when I told the other missionary that "I was just learning." Repentance is part of the learning process of life.

Sometimes older women look at young mothers and give them advice to treasure every moment. That advice has been mocked by my generation. The thinking is that old women don't remember how hectic life is when you have babies and toddlers. One of the fundamental things I have learned about living with no regrets is to listen to those who have gone before. They have good advice (mostly). At this point, as my children are no longer little, I am so glad I took the advice to treasure those days and moments that pass so quickly. And when I have a bad day (which I have all too often), I choose to repent, start fresh, be better, and let the bad day go.

Is my life 100% without regret? Are you kidding? No way! I do try to think about the future and enjoy the present with discipline and forgiveness (for myself and other people). In all of this, I trust and rely on my Savior, who provides the only way to live a life of peace with real hope in the future. He forgives and guides me as I move forward.