Mid-Life Philosophy--16

Relationships are worth the effort

Today we had a little goodbye party for some friends. He has a job with an international company. Their United States assignment was one year and now they move on to Mexico. I am very sad that they are moving.

I thought today about my college roommates. We used to joke about someday buying houses on the same cul-de-sac so we could be neighbors and raise our children together. Today I thought about how big my imaginary cul-de-sac has become. There are so many people who are meaningful in my life. Sometimes I wish we could all live near each other.

I have said a lot of goodbyes in my life. Sometimes, it may have been easier to choose not to become so attached in the first place. In the case of my friends who are moving to Mexico--I knew when we met them that they would only be here for one year. It didn't take long before I also knew that I wanted to spend as much time as possible with them during that year. I guess I could have chosen not to bother making friends, but I'm so glad I chose to go to the effort. My life has been enriched through knowing them. Our children genuinely enjoy each other and have a good bond. It has been a very healthy relationship.

This philosophy is something I think about often. Relationships are worth the effort. When we lived in Utah, Chris and I would travel to California at least once (more often twice or more) a year to visit his family. It was worth the effort and expense every single time. Our children have solid relationships with their cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. While living in Utah, I went out of my way to build relationships with my sisters and brother who lived in the area. When given the opportunity, I have traveled to other states to visit my brothers. If we had spare money, we would spend it traveling to visit our family.

Relationships are worth the effort. There is something magnificent and meaningful about living a life filled with loved ones. Whether they are good friends or family, it is worth the time and effort to stay connected. Why do I use Facebook? It's not to share recipes or political opinions. (Although I enjoy knowing what is important to my friends.) It's because I want to stay connected to important people in my life. Why do I send Christmas cards and letters? It gives me an opportunity once a year to reconnect with important people.

Staying connected is not really an easy thing. It's a good thing and a fun thing, but it's not always easy. It would be much easier to worry more about our little world here and now. Some people, quite frankly, are difficult and it would be easier to cut them out. (I don't have anyone who is so difficult as to be abusive or anything like that.) But I am confident that relationships are worth the effort.

Friendships whether with family or others give my life incredible meaning. I am so thankful for good friends who also make the effort to maintain our relationships.