Mid-Life Philosophy--19

Storytelling

One of our kids' favorite things to do is to listen to stories about themselves. They love it when Chris and I start talking about when they were little. We have our favorite stories that are repeated over and over until they become the stuff of legend. It's as entertaining to them as watching old family videos. (They like the videos. They make their friends watch them when we have guests.)

When we were in college, my brother and I bought a little tiny Welsh flag at the bookstore. We sat in an area that was known as "the campus living room" and waved our flag. Neither of us like to draw attention to ourselves, so we waved it very discreetly. We quietly protested the fact that no one pays any attention to the Welsh minority on campus. We made ourselves laugh. Then we decided we needed a bigger flag. This was in the days before Google, so we had to talk to a human.

Two years earlier, I had taken Welsh 101. It may have been Welsh 100. Anyway, it was a language class. My teacher, Dr. Dennis, recognized my name on the first day of class because he knows my uncle and he knew exactly who my ancestors are. Dr. Dennis is an expert in Welsh Mormon history and he knew more about my ancestors than I did. Much, much more. On the day of the campus-wide Welsh-minority protest, my brother and I went to Dr. Dennis' office to ask him where to buy a big flag. He looked up some information for us and then asked us to take a seat. He started to tell us about our ancestor, John Davis. Dr. Dennis calls John Davis his personal hero. Other than his name, I didn't really know anything about him at the time. This day was life changing for me. I think I can honestly say that. It started my interest in my own history, my own family history. I also learned that my personal pride in being of Welsh descent doesn't come from staging a protest--no matter how much fun that is. It comes from learning my identity as part of a family.

My idea of doing family history is to corner my Uncle Bert at family parties and make him tell me stories. He has so much in his mind, and I want to know what he knows! I have written some of the stories down and others I try to tell often so that they are fresh in my mind. We have a handful of books written by my grandma and my mother that tell their personal history. These stories are so important. They help me to get to know my mom and grandma and to appreciate them so much more.

My great-grandpa was called Daddy Don by family members. He died before I was born. But I feel like I know him. It's because of the stories. My mom was very close to her grandparents and she naturally talked about them often. Sometimes I forget that I never met this person, Daddy Don, who is so real in my mind. I can imagine his tenderness at holding his great-granddaughter, Lisa, and then using her as an excuse to start to attend church. "Someone's got to hold the baby." I can imagine how I think he sounded when he complained about an episode of Hawaii 5-O being continued until the next week.

It's nice to have a lot of facts, names, dates, and places, about our relatives. But it's so much more meaningful to me to have stories, to get to know their personalities, and to feel a connection. I am not a good creative writer--if I had to tell a made-up story, I wouldn't know where to start or what to have happen or how to end it. I can't even think of a halfway decent character. But I can repeat real stories in fun ways.

I know for sure that the stories of my parents, grandparents, and other relatives have shaped my own identity. I hope I tell enough stories for my kids to understand where they came from. Family stories are important to me.